Buddhist : All writing is suffering.
Taoist: Outlining? Forget it. I just go with the flow.
Zen: I sit and wait for an idea to hit me on the back of the head from nowhere.
Jewish: My editor always gives it a Passover.
Christian: I destroyed my manuscript on Friday, but it will rise again.
Paganism: I rely on my natural voice.
Unitarianism: All stories are the same story told in different ways.
Hinduism: I will reincarnate as another pen-name.
Catholicism: I confess all in my memoir.
Atheism: There's no such thing as a born writer.
Any other suggestions? (Note to fanatics - this post is supposed to make you laugh.)